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It's been a while...

May. 31st, 2006 | 07:21 pm
location: Chicago
mood: crankycranky
music: "Our Truth" - Lacuna Coil

Since I've updated this blasted thing. I keep meaning to, but I suck and that works for me.

I've been the most amazingling bitchy coozemonovich this week; just so cranky and crabby and short-fuzed. God how I wish I could sleep through the hormonal cluster fuck that is pre-menstrual syndrome.

Things are starting to look up. Hubby's got a J.O.B. It's part-time, but hopefully it will grow into full-time soon.

It's been so busy around here with classes, the kids, getting my DD ready to start Kindergarten at Disney Magnet in the fall...I'm trying to find the time to start a knitting project, but it is not looking hopeful.

I put in my first BPAL order in months, due to the hubby's unemployment status. I couldn't help myself. We had a few extra dollars and I have been cutting corners for a couple of months now, so I broke down and ordered:

5mL Elegba (Hubby's)
5mL Shango (Also Hubby's)
5mL Obatala (For me)
5mL Bathsheba (For me)

I really want to get a bottle of Yemaya, but that will have to wait until hubby's employment has become stable.

Anyway, much love to my buddies. Hopefully, we are seeing the end of this little stumbling block.

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Screaming on the inside...

Apr. 13th, 2006 | 04:55 pm
location: Some level of hell wherein they hold media-educated fools!
music: "I Write Sins Not Tragedies"- Panic! At the Disco

and I have to let it out!!

There are so many things which inspire in me a feeling of irrational anger right now, that I cannot even fathom where to begin...however, discrimination towards pit bulls fueled by outright ignorance and media perpetuation of this ignorance is really getting on my last nerve.

There are times when I think perhaps I am too polite to miscellaneous strangers. I suppress my anger at their complete lack of intelligence or basic social skills and then it simmers, oh, it simmers. Right now, I feel like I am reaching a point where the pot is going to boil over. Little snipes are coming out of my mouth, and it feels so good to make them.

Just as an example, the other day, I was walking my sweet-as-pie rescued pit bull, Schatzi. This woman, oh FUCK what an ignorant fool, looks at the dog and says, "Those dogs are dangerous, I hope you don't have children." I looked at her and said, "The feeling is mutual." She looked at me, agast, and said, "WHAT??" like she could not BELIEVE I said that. I smirked and replied, "I said, 'The feeling is mutual'. It would be a crime if you were to breed and pass on your special brand of ignorance."

She walked off in a huff. No surprise there.

Previously, another woman was coming in to our building while I was walking my Schatzi with my three children. She says, "I'm NOT walking past that dog." I looked at her and said, "Well, honey, you'd better make a choice, in or out, because I am not moving. I've got three kids and a dog, and I'm not going to move." I bring Schatzi in to heel position and the woman comes in. This is another very smart woman who decides it's time to put into question my abilities as a mother because I keep a monstrous pit bull as a pet. "You'd better watch that dog around your kids," she says. I retort with a, "Babe, I'm going to watch my kids around YOU because I don't want your special brand of stupid to 'touch them'". Yes, she cursed me out...and I laughed the entire time, feeling gleeful that I have made her so damn angry.

Shit, I hope I'm not going mad!

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My own hell...

Mar. 14th, 2006 | 02:08 pm
mood: amusedamused
music: Voodoo - Godsmack

Stolen from Kalischild...

General asshats
Circle I Limbo

Lindsay Lohan
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

Anyone having to do with the production of a "Kid's Bop" c.d. compilation
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Chicago Cubs Fans
Circle IV Rolling Weights

Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

NAMBLA Members
Circle VII Burning Sands

George Bush
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

The Pope
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

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A new baby in the house...

Feb. 21st, 2006 | 03:02 pm

Yes, we've gone and done it!! We have a new furry baby in the house. Well, she's not a baby, but don't tell her that. We adopted her from the shelter that I volunteer for this past weekend. We were supposed to be fostering her, but that lasted all of a minute when she got here and started showing our kids far too much love. She's one of the dogs our shelter brought back from hurricane Katrina, and was named after that hurricane. We've since then re-named her Schatzi, which, for those who do not speak German, means "sweetheart". She is a real sweetie. She's still a bit shell-shocked, but I am not surprised. We're in the middle of a move and our kids can be quite loud. She's adjusting well, though, and has really bonded with me. She follows me from room to room and sleeps next to my side of the bed on her little bed I made her from an old sheet of ours and a couple of fluffy throw pillows. My mom is bringing her bed with her (I had her pick up the same one she liked to sleep on at the boarding facility she was at prior to coming to live with us) tomorrow.

We're moving in...SEVEN DAYS! AAAAAAH! I'm so freaked out, it's not even funny. There is so much to do, so much more to pack!! It's insane. I didn't even realize how much crapola we had until I started going through just the clothes yesterday! OMG! I have SO much stuff I have to give away or throw out, I don't even know what I'm going to do!!!

Hope everyone's doing well. Oh, and BTW, I thought I could share a little line I wished I had thought of when one of my ex-boyfriends broke up with me when we were younger...it's a bit Douglas Adams, but... if some dude pisses you off, ladies...you can always say...

"So long, and thanks for all the dick!"

Yep, that straight from Ella's noggin to you! Much love to you all!


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Amazin' crazy cryin' crazy...

Feb. 7th, 2006 | 10:24 am
mood: stressedMEEP!
music: "Janie's Got a Gun" - Aerosmith

Yeah, I love Adam Sandler. Funny, funny man...Anyway...

Here we are, getting closer to our move-in date March 1. March 1. It seemed so long away before, but now I'm starting to get that sinking feeling one gets in the pit of one's stomach when one is cornered. I can feel the fight/flight response kicking in and I know it's not going to go away until every little thing is packed, moved and placed lovingly in its new spot in our new apartment. Ask anyone who knows me and, dispite my very free-spirited nature, I am very resistant to change. I guess I like to have roots which tie me to the ground while I'm flitting about, but significant change drives me NUTS. I mean, this is the place our children came home to when they left the hospital a few days after their births. This is the place my stepson came home to whenever he came to visit. This was the place I last held my Sammy's head in my lap and told him we were going to make him better. We've had so many wonderful (and not so wonderful) times under this roof while the walls bore witness. Change. So very scary, really. I guess I am more Cancerian than I would like to admit. This crab is very reluctant to leave her shell, even though it's worn and tattered and leaks. I'm going to do it, but not without a significant amount of Cancerian self-inflicted distress and worry. Lots of worry. Thank God my husband is a worry-free Piscean. Otherwise, I would have had a couple of heart-attacks by now.

I'm off from school this week. Very happy about that. Maybe I'll get some work done in the house, heh. Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well and your lives are filled with blissful, heady, care-free debauchery.

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It's been a long time...

Feb. 6th, 2006 | 03:38 pm
mood: amusedamused
music: "The Suffering" - Coheed and Cambria

Les' play! Oh Jeebus how I love that movie. And Antonio Banderas as the Mariachi? Fuggetaboutit!

Life has been going rather well since my last update. Volunteering is wonderful. I really like working with the dogs, it's been very helpful in getting over the death of our beloved Sammy. Also, the people I am working with are wonderful individuals. We're probably going to up the ante and foster, possibly adopt, a pooch. I'm kind of gunshy about the adoption, because I just am not sure if I am ready. Mike's totally gun-ho and wants a sweetie to come live with us pronto. LOL, funny...I'm supposedly the "dog" person in our relationship.

Anyway, found our apartment. Going to finalize the lease agreement this week, as soon as our rather lucious tax return posts to our bank account. YAY! Got a 4.0 going this term as well. That's three terms in a row. Also, Mike is waiting for some good news (hopefully) so keep your fingers crossed for him, okay?? We'll update if all works out as planned.

That's about it. Much love to everyone. Sorry this update is so popcorn-fartish, but I've been so busy with finals that my brain is the consistency of warm, lumpy oatmeal.

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Best Quiz. Ever.

Jan. 23rd, 2006 | 06:55 pm
mood: aggravatedPissy
music: "Killing In the Name Of" - Rage Against the Machine

<td> <table border="0" width="450" bgcolor="#000000">
You will go to jail for:
Setting off cherry bombs on the roof of your school while yelling death to tyranny!

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

It knows me, better than most of my friends.

I had a most interesting day today. I'm feeling rather peckish. Could be because my sons have been entrusted with sort of lifetime quest to keep me from getting more sex than a tussle on the kitchen table. Could be because I'm getting rather nervous as we get closer to when we have to move. Could be because my daughter is going through a rather hyper phase in her development. Perhaps it's just a fuckin' spike in my menstrual cycle. Either way, I'm pissy and intolerant today. As proof of this, I offer the following:

On one of the boards I am on, there is a chica who complains incessantly about the endless amount of mostly self-inflicted or imagined drama in her life and I just wanted to tell her to either get therapy, a large dosage of Thorazine or just shut the fuck up already. Seriously, if you're that miserable and your life sucks THAT bad from day to day, you NEED to get some sort of outside help. Am I right or am I just insensitive? I guess I was just raised to shut up, be a good lil' soldier and in cases where rape is inevitable, lie back and enjoy it so maybe I'm less sensitive than other women to the plight of the needy. I just have NO fuckin' tolerance for it.

Anyway...life is good, I just need to bust an O-face and I'll be just fuckin' peachy.

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Awesome Day!!!

Jan. 15th, 2006 | 03:34 pm
mood: ecstaticElated
music: "Shiny Happy People" - REM

Well, ladies and gents, I have had the greatest day! It started in the wee hours of the morning with wonderful, amazing, no...EARTH-SHATTERING sex and then, this morning I went to volunteer for the Furry Friends Foundation, a dog rescue here in Chicago as a dog-walker. They largely deal with pit bulls, but they have lots of great dogs up for adoption. They also handle kitties and smaller pets, but their mission seems to largely center on pit bulls. My brother rescues pitties, and I love the breed. I kind of needed something to do outside the home, as I have been going a bit stir-crazy as of late and this seems like it will be a wonderful, productive way to spend some free time.

Wonderful day, indeed!!

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I swore I wouldn't do this...

Jan. 10th, 2006 | 12:51 pm

Well, lovelies, here we are: the New Year. Symbolic of new beginnings, rebirth and a proverbial clean slate. It has, for me, been a time of reflection and I have learned some important things about myself:

1. I am afraid to die. Terrified of it, really. This lead me to examine why...

2. Although I have known true love which knows no bounds and have received that same love in return, I am incomplete. I allowed someone to take away an integral part of my identity years ago and I want, nay need, it back. I have allowed my happiness to be curtailed by fear, cowardice and self-doubt.

3. I want to act again. I never thought I would say it, and I have gone to no great expence to keep myself from it, but I need to perform. I miss the magic of it, the surge of energy which connects audience and craftsmen. It will be a hard road, as I have not acted in a decade, but I feel that if I don't do this, I will regret it my whole life long and that is no way to live. I owe it to myself, my husband and my children; they deserve better and so do I.

It is funny. Having written this, I do not feel a sense of catharsis or of anticipation. I feel resolve. I feel trepidation. I feel like this is supposed to happen and it has been long overdue. I'm going to finish this term in school, get our move out of the way and then, once we are settled, take an acting class and "see where zis goes."

Much love to you all. May your god(s), or lack thereof, bless you in all you do.

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Ah, life after winter break

Jan. 9th, 2006 | 01:02 pm

Yes, I believe there is some sort of existence after winter break, I am just not sure. My first week back at school after break went by like a cab driver driving through the south side of Chicago at midnight. It went by so fast, I swear.

We had a great weekend, although it was over too damn quickly. We hung out, chatted, played VtM...it was great.

Well, my children are demanding my attentions in a less-than-subtle way, so I will have to finish this update later.

I hope everyone has recovered from their New Year. Peace!

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