Random Musings of an Undead Housewife

Since I've updated this blasted thing. I keep meaning to, but I suck and that works for me.

I've been the most amazingling bitchy coozemonovich this week; just so cranky and crabby and short-fuzed. God how I wish I could sleep through the hormonal cluster fuck that is pre-menstrual syndrome.

Things are starting to look up. Hubby's got a J.O.B. It's part-time, but hopefully it will grow into full-time soon.

It's been so busy around here with classes, the kids, getting my DD ready to start Kindergarten at Disney Magnet in the fall...I'm trying to find the time to start a knitting project, but it is not looking hopeful.

I put in my first BPAL order in months, due to the hubby's unemployment status. I couldn't help myself. We had a few extra dollars and I have been cutting corners for a couple of months now, so I broke down and ordered:

5mL Elegba (Hubby's)
5mL Shango (Also Hubby's)
5mL Obatala (For me)
5mL Bathsheba (For me)

I really want to get a bottle of Yemaya, but that will have to wait until hubby's employment has become stable.

Anyway, much love to my buddies. Hopefully, we are seeing the end of this little stumbling block.

and I have to let it out!!

There are so many things which inspire in me a feeling of irrational anger right now, that I cannot even fathom where to begin...however, discrimination towards pit bulls fueled by outright ignorance and media perpetuation of this ignorance is really getting on my last nerve.

There are times when I think perhaps I am too polite to miscellaneous strangers. I suppress my anger at their complete lack of intelligence or basic social skills and then it simmers, oh, it simmers. Right now, I feel like I am reaching a point where the pot is going to boil over. Little snipes are coming out of my mouth, and it feels so good to make them.

Just as an example, the other day, I was walking my sweet-as-pie rescued pit bull, Schatzi. This woman, oh FUCK what an ignorant fool, looks at the dog and says, "Those dogs are dangerous, I hope you don't have children." I looked at her and said, "The feeling is mutual." She looked at me, agast, and said, "WHAT??" like she could not BELIEVE I said that. I smirked and replied, "I said, 'The feeling is mutual'. It would be a crime if you were to breed and pass on your special brand of ignorance."

She walked off in a huff. No surprise there.

Previously, another woman was coming in to our building while I was walking my Schatzi with my three children. She says, "I'm NOT walking past that dog." I looked at her and said, "Well, honey, you'd better make a choice, in or out, because I am not moving. I've got three kids and a dog, and I'm not going to move." I bring Schatzi in to heel position and the woman comes in. This is another very smart woman who decides it's time to put into question my abilities as a mother because I keep a monstrous pit bull as a pet. "You'd better watch that dog around your kids," she says. I retort with a, "Babe, I'm going to watch my kids around YOU because I don't want your special brand of stupid to 'touch them'". Yes, she cursed me out...and I laughed the entire time, feeling gleeful that I have made her so damn angry.

Shit, I hope I'm not going mad!

Stolen from Kalischild...

Yes, we've gone and done it!! We have a new furry baby in the house. Well, she's not a baby, but don't tell her that. We adopted her from the shelter that I volunteer for this past weekend. We were supposed to be fostering her, but that lasted all of a minute when she got here and started showing our kids far too much love. She's one of the dogs our shelter brought back from hurricane Katrina, and was named after that hurricane. We've since then re-named her Schatzi, which, for those who do not speak German, means "sweetheart". She is a real sweetie. She's still a bit shell-shocked, but I am not surprised. We're in the middle of a move and our kids can be quite loud. She's adjusting well, though, and has really bonded with me. She follows me from room to room and sleeps next to my side of the bed on her little bed I made her from an old sheet of ours and a couple of fluffy throw pillows. My mom is bringing her bed with her (I had her pick up the same one she liked to sleep on at the boarding facility she was at prior to coming to live with us) tomorrow.

We're moving in...SEVEN DAYS! AAAAAAH! I'm so freaked out, it's not even funny. There is so much to do, so much more to pack!! It's insane. I didn't even realize how much crapola we had until I started going through just the clothes yesterday! OMG! I have SO much stuff I have to give away or throw out, I don't even know what I'm going to do!!!

Hope everyone's doing well. Oh, and BTW, I thought I could share a little line I wished I had thought of when one of my ex-boyfriends broke up with me when we were younger...it's a bit Douglas Adams, but... if some dude pisses you off, ladies...you can always say...

"So long, and thanks for all the dick!"

Yep, that straight from Ella's noggin to you! Much love to you all!

Snoogins!

Yeah, I love Adam Sandler. Funny, funny man...Anyway...

Here we are, getting closer to our move-in date March 1. March 1. It seemed so long away before, but now I'm starting to get that sinking feeling one gets in the pit of one's stomach when one is cornered. I can feel the fight/flight response kicking in and I know it's not going to go away until every little thing is packed, moved and placed lovingly in its new spot in our new apartment. Ask anyone who knows me and, dispite my very free-spirited nature, I am very resistant to change. I guess I like to have roots which tie me to the ground while I'm flitting about, but significant change drives me NUTS. I mean, this is the place our children came home to when they left the hospital a few days after their births. This is the place my stepson came home to whenever he came to visit. This was the place I last held my Sammy's head in my lap and told him we were going to make him better. We've had so many wonderful (and not so wonderful) times under this roof while the walls bore witness. Change. So very scary, really. I guess I am more Cancerian than I would like to admit. This crab is very reluctant to leave her shell, even though it's worn and tattered and leaks. I'm going to do it, but not without a significant amount of Cancerian self-inflicted distress and worry. Lots of worry. Thank God my husband is a worry-free Piscean. Otherwise, I would have had a couple of heart-attacks by now.

I'm off from school this week. Very happy about that. Maybe I'll get some work done in the house, heh. Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well and your lives are filled with blissful, heady, care-free debauchery.

Les' play! Oh Jeebus how I love that movie. And Antonio Banderas as the Mariachi? Fuggetaboutit!

Life has been going rather well since my last update. Volunteering is wonderful. I really like working with the dogs, it's been very helpful in getting over the death of our beloved Sammy. Also, the people I am working with are wonderful individuals. We're probably going to up the ante and foster, possibly adopt, a pooch. I'm kind of gunshy about the adoption, because I just am not sure if I am ready. Mike's totally gun-ho and wants a sweetie to come live with us pronto. LOL, funny...I'm supposedly the "dog" person in our relationship.

Anyway, found our apartment. Going to finalize the lease agreement this week, as soon as our rather lucious tax return posts to our bank account. YAY! Got a 4.0 going this term as well. That's three terms in a row. Also, Mike is waiting for some good news (hopefully) so keep your fingers crossed for him, okay?? We'll update if all works out as planned.

That's about it. Much love to everyone. Sorry this update is so popcorn-fartish, but I've been so busy with finals that my brain is the consistency of warm, lumpy oatmeal.

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You will go to jail for:	Setting off cherry bombs on the roof of your school while yelling death to tyranny!
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It knows me, better than most of my friends.

I had a most interesting day today. I'm feeling rather peckish. Could be because my sons have been entrusted with sort of lifetime quest to keep me from getting more sex than a tussle on the kitchen table. Could be because I'm getting rather nervous as we get closer to when we have to move. Could be because my daughter is going through a rather hyper phase in her development. Perhaps it's just a fuckin' spike in my menstrual cycle. Either way, I'm pissy and intolerant today. As proof of this, I offer the following:

On one of the boards I am on, there is a chica who complains incessantly about the endless amount of mostly self-inflicted or imagined drama in her life and I just wanted to tell her to either get therapy, a large dosage of Thorazine or just shut the fuck up already. Seriously, if you're that miserable and your life sucks THAT bad from day to day, you NEED to get some sort of outside help. Am I right or am I just insensitive? I guess I was just raised to shut up, be a good lil' soldier and in cases where rape is inevitable, lie back and enjoy it so maybe I'm less sensitive than other women to the plight of the needy. I just have NO fuckin' tolerance for it.

Anyway...life is good, I just need to bust an O-face and I'll be just fuckin' peachy.

Well, ladies and gents, I have had the greatest day! It started in the wee hours of the morning with wonderful, amazing, no...EARTH-SHATTERING sex and then, this morning I went to volunteer for the Furry Friends Foundation, a dog rescue here in Chicago as a dog-walker. They largely deal with pit bulls, but they have lots of great dogs up for adoption. They also handle kitties and smaller pets, but their mission seems to largely center on pit bulls. My brother rescues pitties, and I love the breed. I kind of needed something to do outside the home, as I have been going a bit stir-crazy as of late and this seems like it will be a wonderful, productive way to spend some free time.

Wonderful day, indeed!!

Well, lovelies, here we are: the New Year. Symbolic of new beginnings, rebirth and a proverbial clean slate. It has, for me, been a time of reflection and I have learned some important things about myself:

1. I am afraid to die. Terrified of it, really. This lead me to examine why...

2. Although I have known true love which knows no bounds and have received that same love in return, I am incomplete. I allowed someone to take away an integral part of my identity years ago and I want, nay need, it back. I have allowed my happiness to be curtailed by fear, cowardice and self-doubt.

3. I want to act again. I never thought I would say it, and I have gone to no great expence to keep myself from it, but I need to perform. I miss the magic of it, the surge of energy which connects audience and craftsmen. It will be a hard road, as I have not acted in a decade, but I feel that if I don't do this, I will regret it my whole life long and that is no way to live. I owe it to myself, my husband and my children; they deserve better and so do I.

It is funny. Having written this, I do not feel a sense of catharsis or of anticipation. I feel resolve. I feel trepidation. I feel like this is supposed to happen and it has been long overdue. I'm going to finish this term in school, get our move out of the way and then, once we are settled, take an acting class and "see where zis goes."

Much love to you all. May your god(s), or lack thereof, bless you in all you do.

Yes, I believe there is some sort of existence after winter break, I am just not sure. My first week back at school after break went by like a cab driver driving through the south side of Chicago at midnight. It went by so fast, I swear.

We had a great weekend, although it was over too damn quickly. We hung out, chatted, played VtM...it was great.

Well, my children are demanding my attentions in a less-than-subtle way, so I will have to finish this update later.

I hope everyone has recovered from their New Year. Peace!

It's been a few days since I last posted in this blasted thing. I just haven't felt like it lately. I've been rather...blah. But, any damn way, it's New Years Eve and we're staying in. The kids will be all tucked in, watching whatever animated finery Comcast's On Demand™ has to pimp out to the young masses. Mr. Pistoffolees and I will probably sit around and wax philisophical (or our bikini lines, whichever strikes our fancy at the time) while we drink some sparkling cider. Good times. However, I'm still trying to figure out whether or not I'll make any resolutions this year. See, here's my problem:

On one hand, I think resolutions are an okay idea. You make promises of resolve to yourself regarding things that you think should be changed about yourself or your life. On the other, I think people are setting the stage for major disappointment and a dysfunctional new year. For the most part, people choose stuff that is quite impossible or so vague it doesn't matter, such as, "I will quit my 5-pack-a-day ciggie habit cold turkey and take up jogging starting tomorrow". Or, "I'm going to strive to be the best person I can." I just want to say, "Yeah, right, sunbeam... why don't you get workin' on world peace while you're at it! You can do it one blow job at a time!"

Seriously, why don't most people make resolutions based somewhat in reality which could make dealing with them on a daily basis at least tolerable? For instance, instead of: "I'm going to try to be more tolerant"; try: "I will try my best to stop making all men I come across in life pay for the emotional trauma I experienced as a child when Mr. Hooper died on Sesame Street™." Instead of, "I'm going to get the guy in accounting to notice me!"; why don't we try, "I"m gonna ball the guy in accounting until he can't see straight." Just get truthful and to the quick with it, man.

Happy New Year's to everyone. I hope it brings to you all of the joy, happiness and crazy, fun-filled debauchery you can handle! I'll let you know about my resolution. I think it's going to be the same one as last year:

"I resolve to ball my husband at least five times a week and NOT get pregnant."

Love you all!

You're Lucy Westenra! For some reason, the movie
people just can't seem to get you right. In
the book, Stoker made you the perfect Victorian
woman, all sweet and pure and innocent. In the
movies, you're a big slut.


Which Dracula Character Are You?
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You are BURNING.
Synopsis: Burning (or "branding") is the
second most common type or self-mutilation, and
sometimes even goes hand-in-hand with cutting.
People who do this likely become numb, not
feeling either pain nor emotion and not knowing
any other way to ease their hurt and anger.
Positive trait: Care deeply for others.
Negative trait: Doesn't know how to deal with
anger.
Color: Gold
Emotion: Apathy
Animal: Parrot
Quote: "I wait for the mists and the blacker
rain; heavier winds that stir the veil of
fate."


What form of self-mutilation are you?
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My husband, blue_star_risin spoke a lot on the passing of our dear Akita, Samson, on his LJ. It will, most assuradly, be one of the most tragic days in my lifetime. I miss his prancing at the door whenever we would come home from being away. I miss his lyrical woo-woo-woo's when he would "talk" to anyone who took his fancy. I will miss the very smell of his downy fur when he would place his head in my lap as I would click-clack away at some term paper or essay; I would always hug him about the neck and press my face into his fur because it was so soft and comforting. Everyone who has ever met him has told me how lucky we were to find him, because he was such an uncommon specimen of his breed. He was gentle, tactfully demonstrative (his kisses were always "pecks", never slobbery or slovenly), and had a way with children. Many dogs his age only tolerate children; he honestly loved them and basked in their attention like a doting grandfather. He was our honorable, gentle, soulful Samurai Pup and he's already sorely missed...

From what I recall, Natalie Merchant wrote "Kind and Generous" for her animals...even if my brain is somewhat befuddled, the song is appropriate.

Kind and Generous

La-la-la-la...
You've been so kind and generous
I don't know how you keep on giving
For your kindness, I'm in debt to you
For your selflessness, my admiration
For everything you've done, you know I'm bound
I'm bound to thank you for it

La-la-la-la...
You've been so kind and generous
I don't know how you keep on giving
For your kindness, I'm in debt to you
And I never could have come, this far without you
For everything you've done, you know I'm bound
I'm bound to thank you for it

La-la-la-la...
Oh, I want to thank you for so many gifts you gave
The love, the tenderness, I wanna thank you
I want to thank you for your generosity, the love
And the honesty that you gave me
I want to thank you show my gratitude
My love, and my respect for you, I want to thank you
Oh, I want to thank you, thank you; thank you, thank you
I want to thank you, thank you; thank you, thank

I have many. I have my husband, blue_star_risin, who I love without equivication. I have three beautiful children who I cannot ever hope to thank for blessing me with their very presence. We have a roof over our head, food to eat and family who we love and who love us in return. I have my friends, past and present, who I adore for putting up with my cynicism and lack of tact.

However, one blessing stands out above all the rest, for without him, I would have nothing. My darling husband Michael, my Mikey Monkey...I do not even know where to start. I only know that when he is not near, I feel as if half of myself is missing. I find myself giddy as a teenager in the last hour of his commute, rushing about to make ready for his return. I adore him. He is my heart, my Mikey-monkey and there is no other like him on this earth.

But, I am not gifted with words to express my true feelings so...here's a little ditty which expresses it quite nicely...

The Man with the Child in His Eyes - Kate Bush

I hear him before I go to sleep
And focus on the day that's been
I realise he's there when I turn the light off
And turn over
Nobody knows about my man
They think he's lost on some horizon
And suddenly I find myself
Listening to a man I've never known before
Telling me about the sea
All his love, 'till eternity

Ooh, he's here again-
The man with the child in his eyes

He's very understanding
And he's so aware of all my situations
And when I stay up late
He's always waiting
But I feel him hesitate
Oh, I'm so worried about my love
They say "No, no, it won't last forever"
And here I am again my girl
Wondering what on earth I'm doing here
Maybe he doesn't love me
I just took a trip on my love for him

Ooh, he's here again-
The man with the child in his eyes

Je t'aime, mon cher,

L

I have had inarguably one of the best mornings of mi vida loca. I won't get into the gorey details, but there is a lot to be said about having sex in the wee hours of the morning after staying up VERY late with one's lover the night before. I don't think it would have the same effect if alone, but feel free to try it and let me know how that goes, LOL!

I am currently on winter break from school and it feels good to not have to worry for two whole weeks about essays or quizzes. I'm taking two classes this semester: Intro to Psych and Deviance and Violence, which is a class on victimology and a comprehensive look at serial murder. We're up to the case studies, which will include Gacy, Dahmer, the Hillside Strangler(s) and the like. Very interesting course. I'm happy we're finished with the victimology bit because, while it proved somewhat interesting, I am much more interested in criminology's theories and applications.

I'm pretty excited. Christmas (dispite our wishes to do otherwise, we still celebrate it, heh) is coming, I'm meeting up with two of my closest friends from High School on Monday and my hubby and I are spending our seventh Crimbo together with our three wonderful children. It's a beautiful thing.

So, Happy Holidays to all and to all some good DICK!

P.S.

Why does my chipper icon look like Sally is rabidly eating snatch? Filthy!

Hey all! Some of you may be acquainted with my husband, blue_star_risin. Well, the assclown (and I am NOT using this term lightly) went and got himself banned from the BPAL.org forum. I'm not surprised. Rather underwhelmed, though. It was rather... underwhelming.

Anyway, enough about him. Let's talk about ME! I'm a 32 year-old stay-at-home mother of three wonderful kiddos(four, if you count blue_star_risin) and Forensic Psych student. I also like long, barefoot walks on the asphalt at high noon in July and random Tuesdays.

I do feel the need to mention that this LJ may not always be "politically correct", it will probably almost never be "work-safe", and it is not intended for younger or more sensitive viewers. That said...

On with the show!!